Values-Based Actions vs Outcome-Based Goals
Values-Based Actions vs Outcome-Based Goals
How Resolutions are Based in Failure
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
The due dates for returns have passed us. The perceived fervency of our dedication to personal renewal has prompted self-checks because clearly our sight had run us astray. Resolutions, for those masochistic to engage in them, have quite possibly already faltered or the self-serving stories have already started emerging to provide reasons, always reasons, as to why they were either foolish to begin with, or ran up against the insurmountable strength of social forces. I’m sure capitalism will rear its head here for many. Nothing quite like an economic theory given agency like a golem, to provide a means for abdicating responsibility while declaring one’s dedication to ‘fighting consumerism.’
Lest this become a mere painful diatribe against the magical thinking of calendar dates, though seriously, what is it with putting so much meaning into a day? Does nobody realize there’s nothing inherently special to it? For that matter, there’s nothing inherently special to a Monday, a Friday, the first of a month, or any other day ending in -y. The whole practice of saying “on such and such a day I will do x” might as well be said in latin, for at least then the idea of magical language has a history associated with raising devils. If you’re going to do something, then do it. Don’t wait. Don’t wave the metaphorical wand, that tool of avoidance masquerading as empowerment, about a day or time. Get out and do it.
Even if it’s only partial, at least you’ve actively done something. The fetishization of the mind is no more prevalent than in resolutions and date-setting. You haven’t done anything by mere thinking. You’ve made an appearance of doing, a simulacrum of action, but it ends where it begins, bound within your skull.
Confusing Resolutions for Goals
Resolutions are not goals, they are declarations of the pursuit of a goal. They’re a conflation of competence with confidence. Yes, you heard that right. We all know the person confidently strutting around declaring how good they are at something, when we know they’ve never done anything remotely like it. For those who reside in the land of mind over matter, the greatest confidence lies never in actually doing anything.
Instead, reach for competence. Here’s the rub though, building competence takes an acceptance of and willingness to fail. Often repeatedly. Certainly more than once. If the end goal were simple, it wouldn’t call for a resolution, it’d just be a thing we do. This is why we make resolutions, they’re often a way of avoiding the inevitability of failure by front-loading a pile of mental energy.
If you’re making a resolution, have a goal in mind, and let it be concrete, measurable, and, depending on the degree of change, perhaps throw in some steps to get there. We’ve all, when we were young and silly, attempted leaping a flight of stairs only to be left with bruised shins and a hopeful look on our face that nobody was watching. Steps are there for a reason, they’re a reminder that limits are sometimes helpful.
Outcomes and Values
Steps and goals are about outcomes though, and outcomes are future-oriented. Incidentally, this is why failure is an inevitable and instrinsic part of goals. The journey to their fulfillment resides in the land of reality, where we have far less control than we think about what influences us and the ripple effects of our choices. Also, given “being in the present” seems to be what so many clients are asking to figure out how to be, perhaps it is beneficial to consider personal change and growth from a moment-to-moment perspective.
The present moment brings us back to the nature of goals not being simple, otherwise it’d be just something we do. Which is why being in the present is concerned with Values-based actions. There’s not a single behavior we do that isn’t in service of, or seeking to support the instantiation of, one or more Values.
Values are the cognitive bedrock of our emotional aspirations. We feel something based on an automatic and unconscious appraisal of whether what is matches up with what we would like it to be. When we consciously consider what is so important that we’re using our limited resources to engage, Values are there to justify the actions we then take.
Integrity is why we go to work even if it’s thankless. Family is why we put up with actions we otherwise wouldn’t from others. Truth and Honesty is why we get incensed over hypocrisy.
Values drive our actions, to fulfill the story of a world we want to create. Value-based actions are a way of collapsing goals into the present moment. They’re a way of framing the perception of our behavior through a lens of personal meaning-making. Your goals are waiting to be achieved. Your Value-based actions are being done again and again by the simple expedient of living.
One last rough patch though. To find fulfillment in Value-based actions requires an open awareness of connecting those Values to your actions. There’s an ownership of one’s self, a consciously deliberate responsibility-taking of what you’re doing. That can be pretty daunting, given we aren’t always serving the Values we say we are, and even more often not in the way we aspire to. But don’t worry, there are always resolutions to fall back on.